Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Ten on Tuesday!! - 13 weeks old!!

I know !! I know!! I missed a post on last tuesday when Aarav's hearing age was 12 weeks old.. but there was too much going on.. Honest!!
So just to give you all real time updates, I added dates in today's post...

1 - Clarity of babble is better
Friday, August 17, 2012

Aarav is babbling better.. his babbles now resemble the word he means.. its not clear.. but we can guess..

Though all he now says are patterns evolving from the syllable "Ba".
Ba bay = bye bye
Baba = Dad
Ba Ba Ba = Up up up...
Baa-aaa = Sampla / gela = finished /gone
And so on.. you see?

There are a few negatives though, He responds a bit differently to being called now.. I mean, earlier he used to run to us ever time we called out his name, now we have to call a few times over to get his attention and the "running-to-us" parthas changed a bit.

Hmm.. Is the map different? or has the boy grown bored to responding every time?? hmmm...
I don't think it is the map... But I guess I will monitor for longer..

2 - A full day of fun..
Monday, August 20, 2012

I had a office holiday on Monday on account of Id but Kaustubh had to work. Aarav's daycare too had holiday.
So Aarav and I got to spend some quality time alone with each other..

We started our day as usual with the routine breakfast and after breakfast Kaustubh sneaked out and went to work.

Aarav is so used to going to Daycare in the mornings that even if I dint say anything about going out, he picked up his shoes from the shoe rack, wore them (yes yes on his own!!!!!) and then picked up the keys and said bye to me.
He would have left if he was tall enough to unlatch the main door...
I thought kids dont do that till college, do they?!??

Later in the day I brought out the crayons and Aarav and I did a bit of scribbling and sketching.
The little man is fun to do art work with, till he keeps the stationary out of his mouth and off his body...

I am able to get quite a lot of work done if I give Aarav my mobile and let him play the android apps. But he does not seem to eager to play the same old ones now.
I think I need a few new applications soon, he knows all of them by now and is bored.

3 - Fever cough and cold...
Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Aarav seemed to be having a mild cough for a few days, but it grew a bit worse on Tuesday. Wednesday morning, he woke up at 4:00-4:30 am and had fever up to 100.5 C.

Aarav's fevers give me the chills..

Cough, sneezy-nose cold, runny-nosecold, blocked-nose cold, bad tummy, loss of appetite, hits, cuts, bruises,falls, bumps, needles, medicines.. alllllll are fine.. but fever??

I am scared of fever.
Aarav changes during fever.
What a full moon does to a were-wolf, Fever does the same to Aarav.

Howling, crying, loss of appetite, clingyannoyed depressed look, all crazy behaviour included.
The poor kid tires himself out becauseof it..

So I took leave on Wednesday and took him straight to a doctor. It turned out to be just a seasonal infection. The doctor gave him a few medicines and we were back to being naughty again.
Aarav wont be getting in the water forsome time though.. Just need to be 150% sure that the fever is not going to be back!!

4 - On seeing a dog..
Friday, August 24, 2012

He now knows that Bhu-Bhu = dog. And he says Bhu-bhu on seeing dogs too…

Aarav is fascinated by dogs.. We hada pet when he was 8-9 mnths old, a roadside mongrel, but the cutest calmestdog ever, so Aarav is not afraid of dogs anymore. 

When we moved to our current residence, he believed that any roadside dog would be just the same as our pet one..and so now when I ever let him walk and we see a dog, he pretty much ranafter the dog to catch and pet it..

And the poor dog used to run away faster as he would terrified to see the little man running to him with open arms...
And the man's Mommy running behind the little man with open arms and a scared expression..
A funny moment for onlookers..

So now, if I see a dog, I hold on to Aarav and just make the tch-tch noises to call the dog's attention.. 

By now, he has understood that no matter what I am not going to let him pet the dog.
So instead of running after the dog, yesterday, Aarav just squatted on his feet, and made the same hand gesture and sound to call the dog's attention.
He even mimicked the lip-sound!

5 - Boys will be Boys!!
Friday, August 24, 2012

We had a get-together at my Aunts home and all my family was present.
Aarav now gets comfortable with everyone very fast and very easily. Everyone is given equal time, but once all have had their share, Aarav now chooses his favorite person to spend the rest of the time with. Today it was my brother Nihar. Nihar is 12 and was the youngest in the group apart from Aarav himself. Aarav and Nihar just instantly clicked!!

Aarav followed Nihar around all the time, mimicking every action.
When Nihar sat on one of the big chairs, Aarav ran to his side and sat on the one beside him.

Now the scary part was that he sat EXACTLY like Nihar too!!

Aarav wanted to sit on the big chair like Nihar up to the point where with he even had his legs hanging down,which means his behind was on the rim of he chair and he basically could crash on the floor at even a sneeze!!

Kaustubh and I, have now realized that the only way to stop Aarav from crashing and banging into things, is to put him in a straight jacket and lock him into a padded cell.
But we couldn't get the jacket in his size.. So we just watched on.

But my Mom is still too new to Aarav's ever-increasing antics that she was frightened when she saw him..

A super-shrill-scared Mom, "Ooohhhhmaaay Gaaawd!! Looooook at him sit like that!!! Juieeeee!!! You know whatwill happen if he sits like that, Jui??"

Jui, (too matter of factly), "Not much mom, He'll probably just slip and fall with a thud on the floor!!"

And Thud!!
Even before I finished saying, Aaravdid just that.

I still dint budge. I was about to be declared the Worst-mom of the century, but Aarav got up, brushed off his knees, climbed the same chair, and sat EXACTLY like before AGAIN!!!

Jui, "Yes Mom, you were saying?!!"
Mom was too stumped to continue complaining!! She started laughing!!

Boys will be boys!!

6 - Happy Birthday Mom!!
Saturday, August 25, 2012

My Mom's birthday was on this Saturday.We are planning to go to Hadshi, a nice serene spot a few kms ahead of Mulshi, Pune.
Mom loves the outdoors, and we wanted her enjoy.

I was happy for Aarav too as maybe that day on the outing I would finally let Aarav enjoy rains..

But thankfully, there was no rain on our picnic day. Especially, since Aarav just got out of a fever episode.. I'll post few pictures of the day soon though!!

7 - Running and jumping!!
Sunday, August 26, 2012

Aarav walks and jumps both well now.His jump is a real jump now albeit a tiny one but progress still!!!
He runs now and with precision maneuverability.

8 - Finally a haircut!!
Sunday, August 26, 2012

His long glorious mane has been cut..He now looks like a boy.. (yes, any new people we met, were referring to Aarav as a girl!!!)
We were planning to do a photoshoot of Aarav but I guess we will now need to wait for his locks to grow back to give him that Supermodel look that he used to have …

Maybe just do a water photo shoot now?

9 - On falling asleep..
Sunday, August 26, 2012

Our night time schedule involved reading a book, putting his toys in bed and patting them to sleep and then patting him to sleep.

Last night, when Aarav refused to fall asleep even on the routine and singing and patting and all the works, I thought, I would bore him to sleep then..
So I pretended that I had slept.
Aarav watched me and rolled around for some time, got up and went to wake up his Buddy Monkey.
Then he "babbled" to him as if to sing a lullaby and then patted him to sleep again.. then cradled him close by and slept with Buddy in his arms...
All the while the magnets were off!!

9.5 - The Neptune Dry kit..
(why 9.5? No special reason, I had an extra point today and there had to be only 10 in the list. So.)
(still not convinced?? Its my blog. 9.5 because I say so. There. haah)

Monday, August 27, 2012

Every night I have to dismantle theNeptune and put it in the Dryer.. All the pieces come off and go in thedryer kit for overnight dehydration..
Aarav's Left ear's
Phonak Naida S 3 Hearing aid joins the Neptune for the night now and all get completely dehydrated the next morning... Its good to put those two in together instead of separate dry kits. Much easier for me!

That reminds me, I will have to order the Dry Brick in a few weeks, this one should work for another month and a half, but looking at the delays the import Customs guys did the last time (Our Neptune was stuck for customs clearance for over a month..!!), I better order and keep a bulk of dry bricks ready...

10 - The MasterChef series
Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Aarav now pretends to make tea, right from scratch.
He pretends to wash the needed utensils and the cups. Then he lights his play-stove.
Puts on the utensils, waits for it to boil, then picks the hot Tea-utensil with a real pair of tongs,and uses the real sieve to pour the pretend tea in the real Cup and then serves it hot!!

The only fake part in the entire above process is the tea and the stove.
Rest all he needs it to be the ones we use in our kitchen.

And now a pic... Just because I want to share :-D

Aarav.. when he was 9-10 months old..

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Of going into hiding...

Life has become so incredibly hectic that sometimes I wish it was possible to go into hiding, just to get some time for myself.
In gangsta words - "Underground ho jana hai"

No mobile.
No sms.
No mms.
No calls.
No 'where are you's..
No computer.
No internet.
No Facebook pokes and notifications.
No gmail.
No whatsapp.
no viber.

Nothing at all.

Just off the radar.

Some quiet time with family. Peaceful.. No disturbance..

No one will know where we are..

And just when that thought came and I was relishing the idea of peaceful isolation, Aarav took my mobile and switched it on.

He opened my contacts list, opened 'Send Mms attachment' and clicked away, sending a few dozen pics to random contact members.

I think 90% of people in my contact lists have till now received missed calls, blank calls, random garbage messages and blank messages.

But now they will also start receiving pictures of Aarav's feet, us sitting at home in our old shabby pajamas, and a lot more amusing pics....

  So much for going underground.. hah.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

The Neptune is here !!!

We got the Neptune yesterday.
First impression?? It. Is. Fantastic.
Cute, Small, Funky and fashionable.
We went to KEM by 1:00 pm yesterday.. Our audiologist was already ready with the setup for the mapping and she explained to us all about Neptune.
How it is to be used, the batteries, the dry kit, accessories, dos & donts.
An audiologist from Advanced Bionics had also come to assist for the first mapping.

(Aarav is one of the first people to get Neptune in Pune!!!)
We removed the PSP and Aarav wore the new little Neptune.

Now, removing the PSP dint feel so bad.
I used to feel a bit sad every time I had to remove the PSP to give him a bath, or in the rain.
Or before he wanted to sleep. Before, because of the bulky rough harness. It usually is kept on only in the afternoons for his quick naps. Maybe tonight Aarav will sleep with the Neptune on?

The Mapping was done, the documents were signed and PSP was kept away. Then we took the BIG huge Neptune kit box and said our good byes. On the way back home, Aarav was in the car seat, the music player was playing a rather noisy bollywood number, and we were waiting at a red signal.
I called Aarav and he looked. (response to name in the car ?? rare with the PSP- okaaaay, so lets test this teeny beauty.)

Then I covered my mouth and said out the 6 lings, and Aarav identified all!!!
Again I repeat, with the music on, at a red light with horns honking, Aarav heard!!!
Wow!! I believe ClearVoice has made a point!!! Impressed!!

We dropped Aarav back to the daycare so that he could rest a while, and Kaustubh and I went to finish a few chores.

The PSP has now been packed securely in its box.

And Neptune accessories organized. There are sooooo many wearing options!!!!
Such a big box for this teeny little thing!
A lot more to learn now!!!

Came evening, we brought Aarav back home and his usual routine continued.
We were far too busy being happy with the small size of Neptune that we almost missed a few observations..
The boy was babbling like never before!!! Non-stop.
And as if he was conversing with himself!!

He never babbled with this frequency!!! Yes yes, it was present but only when he wanted to communicate. Now he is playing with his own voice.


Yesterday night, Aarav slept with the Neptune on..
Unlike the PSP harness, the Neptune was not 'on' him so he still wore it.. , I just kept it beside his pillow and the magnet still connected.
I sang him good night and he watched me.
"So Mom does say something when her lips are moving.. eh?"
He paid attention to my voice, smiled and patted me when I sang him lullabys.

Lullabies when sleeping at night. Such an ordinary event for the rest of the world..
But for us?? This happened for the first time in Aarav's life!!

Such seemingly small unexpected joys make life much much better!!
Thank you Advanced Bionics !!
Thank you Neptune !!

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Is it here yet???

It is one of those days, when I feela like screaming from rooftops out of joy, that I simply cannot contain anymore......
The much much much much awaited Neptune is finally here!!!!

Only 24 hours to go to see our Neptune Kit...

Aarav will be enjoying the rains this weekend!!!!

The week now seems to be moving more slowly than ever!!!

Is it here yet??? Is it ?? How long do I wait ??

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Ten on Tuesday- 11 weeks old

Age by birthday- 22 mnths 9 days
Hearing age - 11 weeks (2m2wk)

1 - We are getting the Neptune on Friday!!
Even the monsoons this year came late to let Aarav hear in the rain!! Yay!!  

2 - Aarav now responds to his name quite well. 
In fact, even if I call him from another room he knows that he is supposed to respond. Not at the first call, (well even adults don't :-) he's allowed that much disobedience) but when I call him again, he repeats his name (says something that sounds similar) and comes running. Its our own little game now :-)

Funny part is, that totally defeats the purpose of playing hide-n-seek now because when we try to search where he is hiding and call out his name, he comes running!!!

3 - Pots and pans and clang and bang and oh God such a lot of noise in the house now!!! He is now trying out different utensils to see the difference in sound probably.
Not so sure about this, but he does select a new utensil every time.
Maybe I should give him a choice between old and new ones and check if he really does select them for sound??!!

4 - Getting up in the mornings on his own??
Today morning, Aarav dint cry or call out to us when he woke up. He just woke up, no drama, simply got up and walked out to the kitchen searching for us. And then when he saw me, so stretched out his hands and asked me to pick him up!! This seems like a much better way to start a day!!
I just wish I could put the harness on before he wakes up.. He simply hates the harness. The PSP is a bit heavy for his tiny shoulders.
Aah.. 3 days more only.. Then we switch to the Neptune.

5 - Aarav's first introduction to birds!!!

As I said before, Aarav woke up on his own today, so I dint get a chance of putting his harness on.. He likes the PSP machine and knows that he needs to be wearing it to hear.. but putting the harness on is a struggle. so I decided to distract him a bit till the harness came on.

We went out on the balcony to see birds. Monsoon rains splashing in the backyard trees brings a lot of singing chirping birds to the house yard..
Indian Crows, Pigeons, Sparrows, Crow Pheasants (Bharadwaj), The green Indian ring necked parakeet (Parrots - these are not seen, but their shrill voice can be heard). Then there is the singing Koel (Koyal) bird, the wagtails and small tiny gray Finches and so many more..  
The Indian striped squirrel also visits the ripe jackfruit that is so high up to remove that it still is on the tree..
All in all, a wonderful experience to see them interact, oblivious to our presence. Its like being in the forest, invisible to them.

Today the pigeons and the crows seemed to have a rather loud disagreement.. probably a fight over food scrapes or nesting grounds.. I don't know, but I though it was a nice opportunity to introduce Aarav to these birds and put on the harness as well.

So we went out on the balcony, the crows flew a bit higher in the branches and continued their calls.
I asked Aarav to put on the magnet. When he did put it on.. the birds heard us talking and took a break. 
We waited.

By this time, Aarav was contemplating removing the magnet and going back to sleep...

Suddenly a few of the Crows decided that their argument was more important than watching us so they started their crow calls as loud and dramatic as ever.

Aarav heard the crow and watched stupefied at the crow who was shouting ... he let the magnet remain on to hear more..
Just a few seconds later he made that connection between the crow's call and his physical body language and understood the source!!
His face lit up so beautifully!!

The crow is a part of the Indian childhood stories right from birth. 
Kids grow up listening to Chiu tai (Little Sparrow sister) and Kau dada (Brother Crow) and their antics.
And we never even noticed them!!

This was the first time in 22 months that Aarav noticed the Crow.
A milestone in his growth chart!!!

6 - Aarav knows that "Baba" mean dad
Sometime in this week Aarav wanted me to open a can of sugar and my hands were too full.
I said "Baba na sang ja" (Go tell dad)
And Kaustubh was not even around in sight to have picked up a visual cue, he was in the other room alltoghther.

All I did was pointed to the room and said "Baba. Baba na sang" .. And Aarav understood.
He simply said "baba" and walked off ... I followed him to see what he was doing ...
He walked to Kaustubh and got the jar opened.

Wow. He recognized "Baba" and associated it as well!!!

7 - Aarav now says "up" when he needs to be picked up. EVERYTIME!!
He knows that word too!!
It took a few attempts to get him to understand,

I refuse to respond in any way to his crying unless he "says" what he wants.
So now he is saying the following :
        UP = pick me up (This even sounds like UP)
        UP UP UP = get up when sitting (This sounds like aa aa aa, but we are getting there)
        aaaii aaaiii aaaii = "Khaali"  which means down in marathi.
                I say UP / khaali for every step when we go up / down stairs..  He still does not know the distinction between up and down, but he knows that he should say something to make me walk..
        hummm + gesture = come here / go there
        Baba = for Kaustubh
        Bhu bhu = Dog
        humm + gesture = De.
I'll try and record these soon...

8 - The 10th of August was Janmashtami, an annual commemoration of the birth of Krishna, the eighth avatar of Vishnu.
Also known as Dahi Handi, where we celebrate a favorite antic done by naughty little child Krishna.
He used to break the "handis" (earthen pots) filled with "Dahi" (home made yogurt) that were hung up high.
So the celebration consists of making a human tower to break the handi that is at about 40 feet high!!
Aarav had Dahi Handi celebration in his daycare on the 9th of August.
We dressed him up as Lord Krishna and they were told stories and they got the 'break' the paper handi.. well, take swipes at it at least.
It was fun and the kids had a good time.

Dahi Handi at Step up!!
Aarav, the little Lord Krishna!!

9 - Spent the sunday in to Lavasa..

Aarav got to play a lot.. only when it was not raining though which angered him. :(
And us too..
Kids should be allowed to get wet and it felt bad to pull his ears off every time it started raining.
A few days more to wait for the Neptune now...

10 - And last but not the least!! Neptune is here!!! Yay!!!
This was the Demo piece we got to see when we were looking at devices for Aarav in feb-march 2012

Desperately waiting for the real one now!!!

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Ten on Tuesday - 10 weeks old

Age by birthday- 22 mnths 2 days
Hearing age - 10 weeks (2m1wk2d)

1 - Waking up a sleepy boy!!
I put on the PSP before I wake Aarav and switch it on on a low volume. And then without touching him I call out to him to wake him.
Usually he wakes up by calling and is fully awake in a few minutes.

Today morning, Aarav was a bit too sleepy.
I put on the magnet and called his name. He just turned and slept with his back facing me.
I called again.
He sat up.
Opened his eyes a teeny bit.
Looked at me with a 'Please, 5 minutes more' look
Pulled his magnet off.
And simply rolled back to sleep!

The Boy mastered the snooze button..

Oh my god! The boy has an internal snooze button!!!
I see difficult times ahead.
(Well, not for me. For Kaustubh. I use the snooze button extensively. He's just lucky I can't pull my ears off. ha ha)

2 - On wearing a cap.
Its sneezy monsoon here in Pune, so wearing a cap is now mandatory for Aarav.
We were in the Speech clinic today morning for his therapy and when done started wrapping him up to leave.
- I pulled the cap out of the bag.

- Aarav instinctively pulled the magnet out and held it there.

- I put on the cap on his head.

- Aarav refixed the magnet back.

This was a usual routine for us but his Audiologist had a laugh!! This was in fact a new way of using the mike's magnetic properties!!!

3 - Aarav hears all his ling sounds well.
The six lings- aa, oo, ee, mm, ss, sh. He hears it from regular distance and from 6 feet far as well.
He hears the whispered sound "haa" as well.
I feel he responds to his name 75% of times. Kaustubh thinks its 45% times.
I guess we can say its 60% only now.

4 - Its been over a month now, and we will be having a mapping soon.
This will be aided-unaided both-or something else (not sure what i heard actually-its something new for me) I heard today but don't know about it yet.
I'll know more soon.

5 - Aarav is banging pots and pans and utensils so much now that I actually have to scold him to shush down.
And when I scold, he bangs them "slowly".
Not sure, but I think he knows the volume difference now.
If only he understood, 'No' volume does not mean 'low' volume.

6 - Aarav is now babbling a LOT. He babbles to himself, to his dolls, he even babbles when we are not listening.

7 - Changes in potty practices.
Aarav now tells us when he needs to go. But after he's done going...
Well, some hints are coming...

8 - Aarav now looks like Mowgli. His hair covers his hearing aid completely. About time for a hair cut now.
I love his look, but the fear of smuggling live merchandise makes me think I better give him a trim.
Now the decision of whether I should give him an innovative haircut or a boring professional one is to be taken.
What do you guys suggest?

The Long haired Goofy Look

The Tenali Raman Look

The Mohawk Look

The "Tere Naam" Look
The Soldier Look

 9 - Waiting for Neptune...
Well not much here.. Aarav has started hating the harness.. 
We are just waiting for it from so long now.. Hope our Neptune is delivered soon..

10 - Finally a blog post on time!!

Masterchef Aarav's kitchen

Aarav finally got fed up of me sharing his kitchen burner and utensils.

So he decided to get his own three burner stove..

- It has a never ending supply of gas inbuilt.

- All three burners work on telepathic control.

- And its at Aarav's height.

- Easy relocation all over the apartment. Aarav can even make us a snack sitting in the balcony.

Aarav is still letting me share the utensils though. Till he gets his own.

Monday, 6 August 2012

To a fellow CI mom....

This Sunday we had visitors to meet Aarav. Malhar’s (my brother) friend has a sister in the US, whose kid recently had a CI surgery done..
This little baby boy is a few months younger to Aarav. He got the CI surgery last month (first week of July) and the switch on was done last week.
His Granny and Grandpa wanted to meet and see Aarav. They will be travelling to US soon.

The CI family is a close knit group of people who automatically relate to each other.  And as I keep saying,in our beautiful CI world there are no worldly “barriers”
You just meet each other and feel like family is visiting.
And it’s a warm loving comforting feeling to have such family visit you.

We discussed about how his parents found out that about his hearing situation, how the CI was the solution, the CI company, usual road blocks and general discussions..

What got me the most though, was the single line statement that explained what this CI mom had been through.
I haven’t met this CI mom, but she has read my blog. And I really do want to communicate with her-And if the blog helps, so be it.
So without asking for permission to share bits of their story I took the liberty to publish this post.

Here goes.
This little baby was born 5 weeks premature, spent almost a month in the NICU and he had his newborn screening done when being discharged.
He was told “REFER” for both ears and used hearing aids till recently. His parents are both working and he too goes to a daycare.
A bad thing about a baby being in a daycare, is that babies pick up colds and coughs too fast and too frequently.
As if a hearing problem is not enough to toil the nerves, these relatively small illnesses too now affect parents in a more emotional way.
One one such emotional outburst, this CI mom said, "How am I to complain?! How do I say I carried you for 9 months!? because that too I dint!"
During that discussion I said, "no no, that's not how we should think.. and all the supportive blah"
But the truth was that, that sentence, somewhere touched my core.

She was not alone.
That is EXACTLY what I had felt like.

Guilty. Like a prisoner of a heinous crime, left without punishment.
So I unknowingly punished myself emotionally.

I used to question myself so much.
Analyze and dissect and blame myself over so many things I thought went wrong.

But then I took a moment, What exactly did I do wrong? Who of us did anything wrong?

- I took folic acid supplements from before we planned to have a baby.
- Ate healthy food - which my mom made for me for the entire term of my pregnancy, so it was mom-grade healthy nutritious food.
- I took rest when needed but was still active till the delivery date.
- Kaustubh took me on walks every evening after office even if he was dead tired.
- Never missed any doctors appointment, and not just me, Kaustubh too came at every single one.
- Both Kaustubh and I, we went to a prenatal classes.
- Planned for cord blood banking for the baby's future.
- Went to the best doctor. Selected the best hospital.
- Chose the best of everything for the baby, even before he was born.
And not just Kaustubh and I, everyone chipped in to make sure this baby had the best to look forward to.

NOTHING we did was wrong.
And still I felt the guilt.

So I asked myself, if it was up to us, would Aarav be profoundly deaf? NO.
Had it ever been up to us? NO.
So why should I batter myself down for something that is beyond my reach and scope?
And that helped.

So, Dear CI Mom. Ask yourself this, If it was up to you, would you deliver the baby premature, or wish for him to inherit a mutated gene? NO. NEVER.

There was a reason, why he was born sooner than his due date and it was not your fault. No matter what the reason was. Still not your fault.

Any parent wants only the best for their baby. So don't blame and burden yourself down.
It does nothing but put you in a depressing mood and blinds you to the simple joys of life.
And worse, your sadness reflects and affects your child much more gravely, especially since he still depends on visual facial clues to read you.
No matter how good an actor you think you may be, you child still reads the frown lines on your brow.
And it affects him.
Let him be the sweet baby that he is, and let him feel only the love that you have for him.
Let him have your positives. Only the positives always.

When I asked a CI mom before Aarav's surgery, What part of behavior should I change, while taking care of Aarav now that he is hearing impaired?
She said, "Nothing, you should NOT change anything".
Surprised, I asked why.
She said, because "You" think he has an impairment, He does not.
He is perfect the way he should be and happy even. He does not even know that he cannot hear, you know that.
He still is living his usual normal life, but the addition in your knowledge will now change it without reason.
So, behavior wise, stay the same. Same as you would have been a few weeks back before you knew he had any hearing issues.
Her logic was absolute. And it made sense and turned my world around.

Who are we to think he is impaired if he thinks he is normal.
We should accept what he believes, and believe it.
The truth for him is, He is normal and we believe it and let him live the life he wants.

We CI families get the benefit of seeing a lot of miracles every single day.
See them.

We get to witness two birthdays of the same kid, one the real day of birth, and second, the Switch On day.
Celebrate them.

Every single babble, scream, tantrum, banging annoying noises are anticipated and waited for.
Enjoy them.

We live a life that is full of events, some good, some bad, some happy and some sad. Some require a lot of waiting and some just zoom by..
Love them and Live them.

I look at my world through rose-tinted glasses that I refuse to remove no matter what. I see only the half-full. I shun out the bad in the world.
I smile at rain drops even if I fall in a puddle, dew drops in the morning even if they brush by my new ironed shirt.
I am thankful to even events and people who did nothing or even were negative to me..
I take effort to find a positive side in a completely discouraging tragic situation and remember ONLY that positive.
I may seem like a hopeless optimistic nutcase, but still it keeps me motivated and happy.
I need the pretty pink happy shades all around me and I strive hard to maintain them well.
And that is all that I need now.

(Dear CI Mom, My apologies in advance. if I may have construed any bit of information incorrectly, but I seem to be meeting a lot of people who feel the same guilt.
What I have felt and written is so close to what we have been through, that if I understand your situation wrongly, do forgive and forget.)

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